Spotlight

 

Eye on.

Standing on the floor, this morning I feel so sad, what I must do? The obsession with my life, the things I’m doing, my little particle in the huge world, my breathing before kissing, my smile before a cry, the way I look, my death after my life and before the nothing. All it’s me, my life, but at the same time I feel so lost, as if I were incomplete.

What is going on? Which one is my space, my place? Is it possible the completely empathy with a different soul than mine?

Questions that don’t have answers right now, there is just more doubts, Last saturday I realized that I don’t love me, I don’t love me, and all I say is I am sorry. All this time trying to find my way, a road, a home, to find me, and I just, don’t love me. I will to start on me. I need to start on me.

How to find a soul that match with me, if I don’t even know me? If I don’t even love me? The total understanding, the act of not judging, the intension on a smile, on a word,  the answers are hidden in the tiniest detail of me, of my actions and decissions, so subtle, almost invisible, like the wind flying on a mountain, will I find them someday?

My hope is starting to move me, like the silence in the middle of my noise, like the dark on my shine, like nothing in everything. My doctor told me that everything is in the mind, but even if it is true I need to start to move on, the love and selfesteem is a responsability.

How to start to loving me? to belive in me?

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